Roots...

From May 15-20 I was at Bear Trap Ranch for an Intervarsity Christian Fellowship retreat. It was really great. I was in the "chapter leaders" track where we learned how to more effectively lead our fellowships on our campuses.

One of the things that really struck me on the second day was when we talked about character. Character was defined as "what you do when no-one is looking." With this in mind we talked about how character is alot like tree roots. You rarely see the roots of trees but they are a deep network that holds the tree steady and keeps it from falling down. The same goes for character. People rarely see it, but it is what keeps you standing tall.

The full force of this metaphor struck me later as I thought more about it. Trees can be burnt in a fire, and they can grow back if they have a deep enough roots structure. And the biggest thing that struck me was that tree roots never stop growing. In other words as I grow in my faith as a person, I should never stop trying to develop my character.

I am still not sure how you exactly "develop character" but however you do it I know I need to try.

if i had 5.5 grand laying around....

I would not buy a segway. However, if I had alot more money laying around and didn't miss 5.5 grand I might actually look into getting one.

There was a group from the local segway dealer demoing the things at Mines today and I got to try one out. It was in actuality pretty cool. I kept trying to compensate for it though. Like if I was riding a bike or something you have to turn your body a little. And you kinda do with this, but differently. I think I could have gotten used to it pretty quick, especially if I had gotten to ride it for more than like 5 minutes. Oh well it was still fun.

But I still don't plan on buying one. Way too much money. And I value my agility a little to much. For example if a segway is coming at me I can dodge a little easier. Someday when a segway can instantly side-step I might be more likely to buy one.

I strangely have the urge to be violent....

I just read an article on slashdot about Jack Thompson talking about the new game Oblivion. That man...ugh!! One of the comments on the article pretty much sums up my feelings... "Video games don't make me fell violent, morons do." I don't think I could have said it better myself. I don't know if this guy just wants political attention and is only partially moronic, or if he was just born completely without a brain. So maybe some video games take violence a little too far, and they should be rated accordingly, but this guy doesn't even do founded research. He claims stuff about video games and tries to use gaming language like "mod" for modification, and really has no idea what a mod is. *sigh* I think I need to go play an extremely violent video game for a while so that I don't take my rage out on people in the real world. Course maybe I should do something in real life, then maybe there might be a little more basis for him to make claims against. UGH!! Yup I can definately agree with the fact that morons make me more violent than video games. Case and point.

Something more...

So yesterday was my last day of classes for the semester. I still have finals that start on Monday, but all the classes are done. Today I spent doing absolutely nothing. And honestly, it kinda sucked. I used to love doing nothing. Doing nothing was my dream after a long week of school. Just kick back and play games all day long Saturday. Well, I didn't want to do that today. I did anyway though, because I didn't really have anything else to do. And after doing it, I kinda wished that I had found something to do. Anything, just not sitting around all day doing nothing.

I don't know if "lonely" is the right word. I might have thought it was last week after I spent all of my Saturday doing nothing, but I think maybe I am starting to get a new perspective of it now. I think it is just "worthlessness." I think I just feel like I wasted an entire day that I could have been doing something better. Something more.

I think it comes down to the fact that God is shaping me. I am turning into someone different than the shy freshman kid that kinda kept to himself and really liked his private time on Saturday's playing games. I think that God is beginning to turn me into someone who doesn't want to sit around on his butt all day doing nothing, but someone who wants to be out there living life - but most of all, living life for the kingdom.

I saw part of "You've got Mail" within the past 4 months. There is a line in that movie that has haunted me. Meg Ryan's character says "So many things I do in life remind me of something I read in a book or saw in a movie, but shouldn't it be the other way around?" I think it is beginning to hit me why that haunts me. I don't want to live my life like that. I don't want to sit around for the rest of my life like I did today and watch like 4 movies in a row. I would rather be out doing something. I don't even know what, just something. Something more. I think it is funny, at one point I kinda asked God to stop making me grow, because I was tired of growing. Well, I think I have decided that no growth sucks. No growth equates to sitting around on my butt watching movies weekend after weekend, and I think I am just about tired of it.

Anyways, I think this blog is a little too long. So I will stop there. And maybe I should get a little sleep.